We always have a choice; we can let the circumstances of our lives harden us and make us feel increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder.

- Pema Chodron

Pema expresses to me, the perfect description of the grateful heart; the willingness, the bravery, the audacity to see all of life as a gift not just the pretty parts but all of it. When we make the choice to live from this bold place, we become strong and balanced; positioned to see the gift in any circumstance. Wow. Who doesn’t want that?

Some science behind gratitude. From research done at SMU in Dallas Texas: The results of a study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy. Additionally, the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, was more likely to help others, exercised more regularly and made more progress toward personal goals. According to the findings, people who feel grateful are also more likely to feel loved. McCollough and Emmons also noted that gratitude encouraged a positive cycle of reciprocal kindness among people since one act of gratitude encourages another. 

Get Your Gratitude on. When we’re beginning a gratitude practice, we begin with the gifts in our life; the people, love, health shelter of our life. Many folks do keep a gratitude journal to bring awareness and attention to the bright spots in their life. For another approach, check out Gratitude Log 

Gratitude is a muscle. Take it to the gym! Work it out, folks. When you do, you will begin to see yourself, your relationships and your life in a brand new way. Interested in doing some heavy lifting with gratitude? Look for unusual places to get grateful. Experiment. What would happen if you got grateful for a reoccurring challenge or for that place you always get stuck when you try to break an old habit or take a relationship to the next level? What if right there and then you said “even for this I am grateful!” What would that shift in perspective do for you? Try it out sometime and just notice what happens. If you’re like me, you’ll feel a release of tension and you’ll start to access your natural curiosity. Curiosity is like emotional lubricant helping you get unstuck. 

Gratitude is a perspective. It’s a different way of looking at something. It’s a key to a locked door or a candle in a dark room. Looking at a problem from a place of gratitude allows you to access the stuff that is hidden from your normal perspective. 

Gratitude is a choice. On some level we get gratitude. You may even be getting a sense of how to lean into it differently. But beware. So many of us were taught as kids that we ought to be grateful and despite the best intentions of our parents and teachers, gratitude becomes something we should ourselves into. We tell ourselves we should be grateful for this or ought to be grateful for that. We may even really want to be grateful for some particular thing in our life that has us stymied but we just seem to muster up the inspiration. Here’s the deal folks: you can’t should yourself into a grateful state. What I invite you to do is think of gratitude as a tool to be used when you’re ready. Sure there will be times when you easily can access your gratitude but I’m talking about those tougher times and you may not be able to get to gratitude until you’ve processed whatever feelings are stirred in you. Once you’ve cleared out some emotional space (using a nice dose of self empathy) then you might find that you can step into gratitude.

Share your story: As part of my exploration of gratitude, I’d love to hear your stories. Do you have an example of a time when you were able to lean into gratitude in an unexpected way? What were the results? Email me, I want to know …

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