Welcome! Explore, discover, get inspired. If you'd like to talk about coaching with me, email me at: john@johndulworth.com or call me at 212-564-9312. You can also visit the tabs above for more information about me and what I offer. Also! Check out my course, The Anatomy of a Kick-Ass Life: www.johndulworth.com/akal

“X” Marks the Spot

April 4th, 2013 No comments

X Marks the Spot. There is a story about a group of people climbing to the top of a mountain. It turns out it’s pretty steep, and as soon as they get up to a certain height, a couple of people look down and see how far down it is and they completely freeze; they had come up against their edge and they couldn’t go beyond it. The fear was so great that they couldn’t move. Other people tripped on ahead, laughing and talking, but as the climb got steeper more people began to get scared and freeze. All the way up this mountain there were places where people met their edge and just froze and couldn’t go any farther. The people who made it to the top looked out and were very happy they’d made it to the top. The moral of the story is that it really doesn’t make any difference where you meet your edge; just meeting it is the point. Life is a whole journey of meeting your edge again and again. That’s where you’re challenged; that’s where, if you’re a person who wants to live, you start to ask yourself questions like, “Now why am I so scared? What is it that I don’t want to see? Why can’t I go any further than this?” The people who got to the top were not the heroes of the day. It’s just that they weren’t afraid of heights; they are going to meet their edge somewhere else. The ones who froze at the bottom were not the losers. They simply stopped first and so their lesson came earlier than the others. However sooner or later everybody meets his or her edge. (From “The Wisdom of No Escape” by Pema Chodron)

So, happy people, here’s to finding your edge; that scary place that stops you in your tracks. When you get there, don’t be afraid, don’t be harsh with yourself, don’t compare yourself with others on the path. Simply look down at your feet and see the X that marks this spot, this is your edge – this is the place where life really begins to happen for you.

Rest in the knowing that all of life is about you finding these very spots, the places where you think you can’t possible go any farther. It’s about hanging out there, laughing at their discovery and opening to your curiosity when you stumble upon them. Then, it’s about moving past each one with a sassy little kick and the joy that comes from knowing that you did it again! You moved past a place that scared you. You’re stronger now and just a little bit more fearless. And that, sweet friend, is a beautiful thing.

“Onward ho! Bring on to the next edge!”

You Find What You Look For

March 28th, 2013 No comments

bubbles floatingA teacher once said to me: “John, everything you’re looking for is looking for you.” After scratching my head and responding with a “whatchu talkin’ about Willis?” I recall feeling a sense of ease sink in as if I’d just been given permission to not try so dang hard. Her comment also opened me up to the generous nature of Life.

Here’s how the lesson sits with me: Looking for joy? It’s trying to find me. Looking for hilarity? It’s built into every day. Looking for connection? My very longing means – in a way – I’ve already found it. Seeking clarity and strength? How about I sit still for a few minutes and allow them to settle in?

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Belief Busting

March 19th, 2013 No comments

These days, Life is conspiring to have me look deeply at the beliefs I hold to be true about myself. It really is quite remarkable (and kind of hilarious) how everything over the last few days seems to be pointing me back to this place – like Life has an agenda and I can’t escape it. Haha! OK! I’ll play along…why not, what do I have to lose?? Just a super-limited experience of myself that’s all.

replace fear of the unknown with curiosity

To illustrate the point, here is a quote from my reading this morning. “As soon as you start to believe something you can no longer see anything else. People find it quite easy to hold on to have beliefs and to hold onto them and to let the whole world be a product of their belief system. They also find it quite easy to attack those who disagree. The harder, more courageous thing, which the hero and the heroine, the warrior and the mystic do, is continually to look one’s beliefs straight in the face, honestly and clearly, and then step beyond them. That requires a lot of heart and kindness. It requires being able to touch and know completely to the core, your own experience, without harshness, without making any judgement.” Pema Chodron

Ok, you heroes and heroines, get out there and fight the good fight. Be your kick-ass belief-challenging selves. Dare to live beyond what you hold to be true about yourselves. Give each other grace and the space by being courageous enough to put down the beliefs you hold about each other.

Oh! And don’t forget to let me know what you discover out there on the edge of living…I’m certain it’s gonna knock your socks off.

When We Step On The Path Or Begin a Practice…

March 11th, 2013 No comments

I am groovin’ on these words adapted from Pema Chodron this morning:

Calm skies beautiful waterWhen we step on the path or begin a practice, our eyes are opened to how beautiful, wonderful and amazing things are and we also see the obstacles, how it is that we feel stuck in a small, dark place. It isn’t that one is the bad part and one is the good part, but that it’s a kind of interesting, smelly, rich, fertile mess of stuff. When it’s all mixed up together, it’s us: humaness. This is what we are here to see for ourselves. Both the brilliance and the sufferings are here all the time; they interpenetrate each other. For a fully enlightened being, the difference between what is neurosis and what is wisdom is very hard to perceive, because somehow the energy underlying both of them is the same. The basic, creative energy – life force – bubbles up and courses through all of existence whether it is experienced as open, free and energizing or petty, narrow and stuck. {The Wisdom of No Escape, pg. 27}

So folks, here’s to the whole beautiful catastrophe that is me, you, our lives, this world. May you find the beauty and grace in all things today.

Happy Livin’ 101

March 4th, 2013 No comments

Tip for happy livin’ #101: When you’re about to take a BIG jump or perhaps just feeling a bit wobbly, remind yourself what you stand for. Remind yourself what you believe in. Why? Simple. We forget. I needed to be reminded today, so I pulled this out of my old journal written years ago. It did the trick.

I believe it is my responsibility to open – to live aligned with my unique voice. I believe that “life happens for me and not to me.” I believe I shine brighter when you shine brighter and that there is beauty in everything one only has to train his eyes to see it. I believe this world is full of open possibilities, gifts and abundance, “that every wall is a door,” that my voice is strengthened only through practice and intent and that I have to do the work & you have to do the work, if we want – ever – to be free. I believe that freedom is possible and that it is born from awareness of the self and the acknowledgement of choice. I believe that I have choice in all things in all moments in every way and without exception. I believe that you are my mirror and that without you, I cannot see myself.

We Don’t Set Out to Save the World

February 26th, 2013 No comments

Every time You SmileMy pal, Pema (as in Chodron) says “We don’t set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people’s hearts.” You see, what we think, what we say, the actions we take…they all matter. They really do. Every single one of them has a ripple effect out into the world – some with a more direct and obvious impact than others but make no mistake, they all do. I love the goal of being so mindful that I apply this truth to every moment. I love the awareness that what I contribute to anything…matters in the collective experience of everyone. That the energy I bring through my thoughts, my words, and my actions are MY responsibility AND my gift. I love finding the blind spots in my approach to being where I’ve forgotten that how I show up matters…because in that bright, clear moment of awareness, I can rise up to a higher level leaving behind my self absorption and give the gift that my heart actually is calling me to give.

Has anyone seen my wisdom? I know I left it around here somewhere…

February 20th, 2013 No comments

In a true twist of fortune, what we truly need in any given moment is almost always much closer than we tell ourselves. Most times it lies right there within and not as we would have ourselves believe in some far away, external source attainable only after long, arduous hours of work or contemplation. Or perhaps, accessible to us as a prize for having gotten everything finally “right.”

Naturalist James Burroughs says, “The lesson that life constantly enforces is ‘Look underfoot.’ You are always nearer to the true sources of your power than you think. The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are. Don’t despise your own place and hour. Every place is the center of the world.”

Today may you be a champion of exactly where you are. And from that place, may you look within to find that exactly what you need has been there all along. Happy livin’ friends.

looking within

 

Listening to Life

February 11th, 2013 No comments

Listening to Life. Recently I’ve been feeling kind of stuck…at times flummoxed by myself; feeling like a foreigner in my own life. For a guy who relishes clarity and movement, this can be an uncomfortable and frustrating experience. Generally my response in times like these is either to just succumb to it or to roll up my sleeves and figure it out. (I do love a good breakthrough.) Lately I’ve been more of the ‘roll-up-my- sleeves-and-figure-it-out’ ilk but to no avail. Grrrr.

In a strange and generous twist of fate, this afternoon I randomly opened a book I’d read years ago and found amidst its pages a long forgotten piece of paper with a printed message on it. I have no idea where it’s from or where I got it…and though I didn’t get it right away, it seems Life needed to get a message to me and delivered it in a bookmark of sorts. Here’s what it said:

“Relax! Do not work so hard trying to understand. Know instead it’s about the elusive Unconscious Mind. Surfacing and re-surfacing (as in music). Just stay alert and notice everything that arises and asks to be noticed.”

It felt important but I hadn’t made the connection yet so the bookmark/message from Life made it to my door where it has sat all afternoon and evening behind a blue magnet while my conscious mind caught up. Then in a flash…as I was cleaning my bathtub (all the best breakthroughs come in the bathroom)…my conscious mind got it.

Blammo. Perfection. Yes. Shoulders drop. Long exhale.

So thank you, Life. Message delivered loud and clear. I think it’s time to open that bottle of rose I have chilling in the fridge and turn on some groovy music.

It’s All Good!

January 22nd, 2013 No comments

As we set out on the path of change or as we endeavor to manifest a goal or a vision, ALL action in the name of that change or goal is rewarded. It’s all valuable. Action in the seeming wrong direction – action that takes us off course – is especially informative and helpful that is if we learn to keep our curiosity about us and our self-judgment at bay.

So, here’s to all of your missteps, mistakes and failings my friend. May you maintain a sense of humor and cultivate a light heart as you work to become the person you’re called to be. As you set out on the mission to bring a sweet change into your life, learn to love every step of the way especially those that have you making a face plant on the muddy path of life.

What goal or vision are you working on right now?

The Waiting Place

January 10th, 2013 No comments

Lately a very curious thing has been happening, I’ve been connecting with a string of people who all have one thing in common; they each have the sense that they’re waiting. They don’t know why or for what but just that they are – waiting. Having been a bit of a waiter myself – and not just the kind that brings you coffee or tea or a plate of spaghetti, I understand the effect that all this waiting can have on ourselves and our lives.

Once upon a time a dear friend of mine, Flint Sparks, asked me: “John, I wonder what you’re waiting for?” That question confounded me then and stymies me now. But in the best sort of way – it makes me deliriously curious – like there is a mystery asking to be solved. Until I get my answer and until the others get theirs and…assuming there are more out there like us who find themselves in an eternal state of pause, I offer – as a nudge to simply get moving – these words from our brilliant wordsmith and oracle, Dr. Seuss. They are a sweet reminder of the (sometimes) futility in waiting.

“You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

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